Owning My Happy

Disclaimer: This was probably one of the harder blogs I have written. This took a lot out of me personally. However, to be honest, I feel so much lifted off my shoulders being able to write about this.... I always pictured pregnancy to be so much more pleasant and exciting. Although I will never regret or question my pregnancy, I was obese when I was pregnant. However, I had a very challenging pregnancy because of the obesity. I had a lot of vomiting, in fact every single day, some days multiple days. I had a hard time moving around without hurting as I got further and further along. I was unable to work. I had preeclampsia severely. I had so many tests, constantly. I was hospitalized twice. I developed Bells Palsy and that is when they decided to induce my labor. My labor and delivery was far from glamorous. My body rejected two epidurals and a spinal. My body was not handling all this well. The result of obesity and pregnant was the vertical incision (also known as a classic c-s

The plateau I have encountered in the last few weeks has been one of the hardest moments in my progression. I have been working incredibly hard in the gym and on my nutrition. Yes, I have the occasional set back treats, but if I don't, I will forever be over indulging on those treats. I have been so incredibly discouraged for weeks about the plateau. The fact that I have done more in the last few weeks for movement including adding in jumping rope has been hardest on me mentally. I have felt so defeated. The scale is a tool, but is also the visual proof that you are making progress. I know I recently made an entry all about the scale, but honestly, I am continuing to struggle with the numbers not changing. I am so close to the next milestone that I want that I am so angry that there is a sudden halt. I have incredible people working behind the scenes to reconfigure my caloric deficit, having me log in my food on a new app and working to keep my mind focused on continuing

Without a doubt, the scale is an obvious tool that I use to see I am losing weight. The numbers decreasing is honestly the best visual reminder of the changes taking place in my body to become healthier me. Those numbers have changed from a mere ounces to more than one pound of loss, but gaining as well.  There is not a question that the numbers showing gain make me feel defeated, and like I did something wrong. There are sometimes obvious factors that contribute to the gains like hormones around "that time of the month," or if I allowed my diet to be completely unbalanced throughout the week. There has also been the factor of not drinking enough water throughout the day that has caused gain. There is also the obvious one of not working out hard enough or at all that week. There are days that the scale barely moves or stays the same. I can typically define those reasons as well. A lot of those reasons align with the gaining reasons. However, there hav