There are so many obstacles people face on a daily basis that are typical daily functions that we take for granted. These are natural and simple things such as walking to the bathroom without being winded to being able to attend your child's school functions. Although simple, these things are hard for obese people. Before I began this journey, I never realized how many things I was unable to do.
One of the biggest things I had a hard time with while I was in a state of bad health and obese was the many health factors that I had to deal with. This included inconsistent, unpredictable menstrual cycles. I remember at one point they were so heavy that I had to carry changes of clothes with me at all times. I also would have the cycle for up to three weeks at a time. I would have two weeks off, and start again. This was not even the worst part! The worst part was I could only use menstrual pads because situating a tampon was just not manageable. Finding an appropriate size as well as comfortable pad is almost impossible when you are so obese.
Hygiene is an obstacle that obese people face on a daily basis. Not only is it the little things like standing to take a shower, but it's the simple things like being able to properly clean yourself after you use the bathroom. The possibility of odors that might happen because you were unable to shower, sweat excessively or unable to reach areas to clean them are always a possibility for embarrassment.
Moving around and multitasking is a challenge. I remember being on the phone with a friend of mine, and I was up moving around talking to her. She said she was able to tell I feel so much better because I was not heavily breathing while she was talking to me. I was able to carry on a conversation and continue doing things around the house without feeling like I was running a marathon. Being able to move and multitask is definitely something I was not realizing I was missing.
Seating also is an issue because you break things you sit on. The chairs that would break while I sat in them was incredibly embarrassing. I remember multiple times how awful I felt every time a chair would break. Picking a suitable, sturdy seating option is always a burden.
The fact you have to find a seat belt extender to help you fit as safely as possibly in a car even though you are not even really sure that is the safe option since it's not really manufactured for your car. Being in someone else's car and unable to fasten the seat belt to be secure while you are going places. Your stomach touching the steering wheel and you being unable to turn it easily while you are trying to take your child to school.
Parking at a store and walking around is a challenge for obese people. Not only are you concerned about finding a parking spot that is manageable, but being able to walk around the store. Some stores offer those motorized shopping carts that make it a little easier. However, if there is not one available or you have to go in a store without them, you get winded or sweat profusely as you are trying to get things that are needed. Ultimately, the end result, at least in my case, was to send someone else in while I drove or have them go in period to do the shopping for me. On top of all that, you have this thing in the back of your mind telling you that people are watching you, talking about you, or you have this fear that you are going to walk in to someone that you know who is going to judge you because you are having to ride the motorized cart to accomplish what most people do by just walking. For parking, you even plan to show up early to things to avoid walking or waiting for a closer parking space before you have to meet your friends. You offer to drive just so you can park where you want to avoid long distance parking.
Speaking of shopping, the chore of shopping for your own clothes is a battle all on it's own. The clothing options for obese people is specialized stores or homemade clothing. This creates a financial struggle and self confidence problem all on it's own. You cannot just go to Wal-mart and buy a 6X, trust me. You have special order your clothing or go to a store that has the special sizes which means the prices are astronomical. Further, you have to find under garments including underwear and bras that will be fitting as well. That alone is even harder to find if the special store does not have what you need. Trust me, they are not always that cute there either.
The medical effects including medications that you are required to take because your body is deteriorating at a quick rate because it cannot handle all the extra weight it has to help you carry. The blood pressure medication. The borderline or being diabetic situation that creates even more burden to carry. The inability to get proper exams including your annual pap smear because you are unable to properly lay on the table. The inability to have the smaller blood pressure cuff because the cuff just will not stay closed. The rashes you get in areas around your body because your skin is irritated from rubbing together or from holding moisture.
The inability to put on your shoes and tie them without assistance unless you sprawl out all over the floor to get the job done. So you start wearing slide on shoes that really have no support and no back just to defeat the embarrassment in public situations. Also, having to sit down to get ready including putting your clothes on because you get so winded and unstable standing. I remember going to weigh in at Blue Sky for the first time, and being unable to put my shoes back on or even tie them without struggling. That continues to be one of the biggest first memories one of the nurses and I have there.
An even harsher reality is the fact you are not doing your job the way you need to in order to be productive. You sit way too much. You find yourself nodding off on occasion. You notice that what you use to love to do has become just not enjoyable because you have no energy to invest in it. Obesity is eating your energy all day long from just simply walking to and from the building to be at work. If there were an emergency, you are not even simply confident enough to manage whatever situation you are faced with because you are not able to move quickly or adequately. The regret you carry after you leave a job knowing that if you would have and could have done this differently than you would have been more successful.
As a family, there are many things that an obese person does to wear them down. One of those things is not being able to do the little things like laundry, cleaning and cooking for your family progressively get harder. They not only make the food, but make your plate and bring it to you and clean up after you. You get them to do those things for you, which in turn hurts your relationships with them because of the resentment they begin to feel towards you for picking up your part of the family. That resentment begins to destroy so many things in your family and they begin to let things go or hide things just because they cannot carry all of the responsibility on their own.
The lack of energy and motivation also makes spending time together challenging. One of those challenges is family vacations or even going out of town to visit people. These challenges create a barrier in making lasting memories that you need to for your family to cherish in years to come while at the dinner table. These challenges disable you from being a part of the family outings to the park, shopping or even simple things like going to see a movie.
Obesity got really hard on me when I was to attend an awards ceremony for my son. He was getting a surprise reward from his teachers. We got to the parking lot and as we were about to leave the car I realized how far away it was to walk to the building. My anxiety kicked in to overdrive and I panicked. I was unsure what kind of seating there would be. I was unsure if his friends would see me resulting in giving him a hard time about my size. I was unsure if I would be able to get back comfortably to the car in the sea of people that would be walking back with us. I missed the entire moment for my son because I allowed obesity to own me. This was one of the final straws that I had with obesity before I decided to fight it.
These are just a few things I personally have endured since I have been obese. The horrible word "obese" just makes me cringe most days because I am doing something about it. I firmly believe the standards and guidelines for the levels of obesity should be reevaluated. However, I know that I have lived in the morbidly obese state for many years. This state of my body is not really an issue anymore. Instead, I am working to be healthy. I started to see the positive effects almost immediately when I started eating better and exercising regularly. I was taken off my blood pressure medication. My blood work levels were all within normal range, and the ones that were not because I am still holding extra weight have drastically improved. I attend my child's functions at school, and even took a vacation with him. I am not embarrassed anymore to be in the public. I hold my head a little higher and carry confidence in every step. I don't think about the parking much anymore, and I don't mind going places alone. Most importantly, I am doing things for me again.
Obesity is an illness that involves so many hurdles that many people do not consider when they are judging people who are carrying all these extra pounds. However, there is a way to overcome those hurdles. Stop saying "I'll start tomorrow" or "At the beginning of the year I am.." DO IT TODAY. Your life depends on it. Your family depends on it. Your overall mental health and clarity depend on it.
There is an army of support that you will have when you decide to make the changes necessary to better your health and way of living. Do this...do this for you.
Burn Boot Camp-Asheville is starting the biggest New Year's promotion $99 for six weeks! Sign-up today online or with your local Burn Boot Camp. The program starts January 6th. You can even pair with a 2 week free trial to extend your membership to 8 full weeks of camps. Start your journey and have a family of support to hold you accountable, but love you along the way.
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